


my life was black and white and i believed it

by rivkael



Series: Heaven's Misadventures 'Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brainwashing, Brother Feels, Gen, Good Little Brother Raphael, Michael Needs a Hug, Mîka needs hugs, Naomi is a bitch, Shitty Little Sister Naomi, Suicide, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, being unmade, personality rewrites, shortfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:55:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8683030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivkael/pseuds/rivkael
Summary: Michael is blind, deaf, muted..There's a reedy, thin voice within him, that says he is not alright. Go see Raph. Go to Raffy. They can fix it, the voice whispers, a breath of wind against a mountain. It creeps through his mind though, dusting off places long forgotten and tugging at chains Michael is unaware of. There isn't really a decision to be made.





	

Michael is blind, deaf, muted.

He can't think properly. He has to let others make decisions while he's constantly pushing through the heavy curtains of his mind just to stay conscious.

There's a reedy, thin voice within him, that says he is not alright. 

Go see Raph. Go to Raffy. They can fix it, the voice whispers, a breath of wind against a mountain. It creeps through his mind though, dusting off places long forgotten and tugging at chains Michael is unaware of. 

Go to Raph. There isn't really a decision to be made. Michael takes wing and blazes through the higher levels, dodging his brethren, muting his Grace-glow so they are not burned. He lands not far from Raphael, but not so close as to injure the young angel that they are playing with.

"Jerome, go on back to Anna." Raph straightens the fledgling's feathers and gives them a boost into the air. "I have to speak with Mîchael."

There it is - the slight accent on his name. No one else pronounces it like that, like it's heavy at the start, mih instead of miy. 

Michael likes it. He approaches his sibling, and kneels before them, staring at the ends of their being rather than their face. "There's something missing in me, something broken." He says, looking for better words when there are none. "I'm not whole... I shouldn't be dangerous to be around, I should be..." He trails off. "I don't know."

Raph cradles his face in their soft hands. "I know, dear brother. It pains me to see you like this." They wipe away the two tears that have appeared on his face. "I know part of the reason, but I don't have the cure." They pull Michael to his feet and Michael sees a bright flash of something important in their wings.

"What was that?" he asks, pointing.

"My Lamp?" Raphael pulls it from their wings so Michael can see it better. 

Michael swallows. "I don't have one of those."

"Well, then." Raphael pulls a brave face, not letting their resolve crumble. "We have a starting point."

They search for months, whenever they both have a spare moment. One day Michael stumbles upon it in a crevasse, in the Axis Mundi, the stairway between Heaven and Earth. He is silent and still for a long, long moment as his memories are returned. "I have been lost for so long, sibling." he whispers.

Raphael approaches slowly, trying to comfort him, but he panics. "I can't do it Raph. I can't go back. Don't - don't make me! I - don't come closer!"

Raphael radiates hurt and Mîka flinches."I'm not going to, brother. It's okay, I wouldn't." They're patient with him, they want to help him, but there is no help.

No help for one so alone, one who has failed so badly.

Mîkhā'ēl dives from the Axis Mundi, and tears his Grace apart.

Behind him, Raph falls against the stairwell and curls up small. "Mîka, please." they whisper, even though it is too late. 

How can an angel that is born to sing sit in a cage and die?


End file.
